I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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