she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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