i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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