yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
