I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
