Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
