As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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