K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
