Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry khdmdcm hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex

(949): View more from California

How do you have pretend sex?

(805): View more from California

It was bad...so it was pretend

Fav 13 928 4142
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.

Fav 40 1601 3897
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

Fav 11 1436 4150
share tweet
(239): View more from Florida

gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.

Fav 9 2308 3827
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.

Fav 8 3511 1259
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.

Fav 19 4167 1229
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

Fav 11 2870 960
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(763): View more from Minnesota

you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work

Fav 1 985 520
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.

Fav 0 77 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT