I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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