Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
