could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's rum buckets o'clock
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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