Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
