I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
