Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.