He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.