I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done