The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!