Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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