saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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