i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
