Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
