Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
