just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
