Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize