The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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