im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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