didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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