you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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