I feel like I'm in dance class right now
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
