Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
