your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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