I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
