She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How does one acquire holy water?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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