also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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