Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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