Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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