yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
