Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
