Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How does it feel to date your dad?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize