what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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