My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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