Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
