so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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