we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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