Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize