You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
