That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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