You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
