when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize