I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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