best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
