If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
