It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
