I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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