that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
