i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
