"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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