If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
