i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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