She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
