tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The air was thick with penises
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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