I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
