Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
