youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
