ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
