He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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