where am i from again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
