you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
