based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
