Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
